Love Installation

Sisyphus · Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 6:48 pm Post subject: Love Installation

Here's a step-by-step guide to installing love on the human machine.

Customer: I can do that. I'm not very technical, but I think I am ready to
install now. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your
HEART ma'am?

Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programmes running right now. Is
it okay to install while they are running?

Tech Support: What programmes are running ma'am?

Customer: Let me see... I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and
RESENTMENT.COM running right now.

Tech Support: No Problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from
your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but
it will no longer disrupt other programmes LOVE will eventually overwrite
LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However, you
have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programmes
prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE.
Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have
been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, I'm done. Love has started installing itself automatically.
Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will
reisntall for the life of your heart. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base programme. You
need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades.

Customer:Oops... I have an error message already. What should I do?

Tech Support: What does the message say?

Customer:: It says "ERROR 412- PROGRAMME NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS".
What does that mean?

Tech Support: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the
LOVE programme is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run
on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in
non-technical terms it means - "you have to "LOVE" your own machine before
it can "LOVE" others.

Customer: So what should I do?

Tech Support: Can you find the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?

Customer: Yes, I have it.

Tech Support: Excellent, you are getting good at this.

Customer: Thank you.

Tech Support: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy
them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEM.TXT,
REALISEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite and
conflicting files and begin patching and faulty programming. Also, you need
to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycly
bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Go it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat files.
SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that WARMTH.COM,
PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART!

Tech Support: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to
handle it from here. One more thing before I go.

Customer: Yes?

Tech Support: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules
to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they
will return some really neat modules back to you.

Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.
_________________
".... love thy neighbour as thyself." is the hardest thing I have ever done....