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Nancy
Joined: 22 Jun 2006
Posts: 1097
Location: Illinois, U.S.A.
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 Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 12:55 am Post subject: Verbal Profundities |
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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.
The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
A backward poet writes inverse.
In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France and resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
A calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture: a jab well done.
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You O Lord are the potter, I am the clay,the work of Your hands. |
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Sisyphus
Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 2142
Location: United Kingdom, Not Europe....
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| Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 6:59 pm Post subject: |
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GROAN!!!! 
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".... love thy neighbour as thyself." is the hardest thing I have ever done.... |
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Camberwick Green
Joined: 10 Sep 2006
Posts: 742
Location: Manchester - Where else would you live
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| Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 6:54 pm Post subject: |
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some of them were very funny
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It might sound funny to others, but suddenly thinking you are French is terrifying. Louise Clark Sufferer of rare condition Susacs Syndrome
COME ON SALE !!!! |
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