Mixed marriage

Eddie c · Joined: 16 Sep 2006 Posts: 685 Location: Manchester

A young man(Roman Catholic) married a young lady(strict protestant). They invited the priest..and the Pastor to the wedding.

At the reception the groom,trying to be friendly offered the priest a drink....."well yes,ill have a drop of scotch,thank you".

He then offered the pastor a drink....."drink?..drink?"said the pastor......."why...id.... rather commit adultery" Icon_angry

At which point the priest said....."hold on a minute now...no-one told me there was a choice"

Eddie

I would like to point out that both men were bald,therefore not blonde....and they were not Irish....although they lived in Ireland. Likewise they could have belonged to any number of religious groups. This story is fictional and any likeness to any living persons (such as father Murphy,ot Pastor Buck) is entirely co-incidental.

Also the drink could have been beer,or lager,or some other alcholoc drink and the reference to "scoch" in no way implies that the jocks,i mean scottish people are drunken sots.

This joke is not meant to be funny or to offend anyone,except perhaps ******** and ******* and ********.

Only joking Icon_yahoo

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jtheb · Joined: 21 Jun 2006 Posts: 1451 Location: second childhood

I'm glad you made it clear than any resemblance to persons living, dead, or otherwise is purely coincidental.

This avoids any misunderstanding.
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davelarge · Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 9:01 am Post subject:

Unfortunately, the disclaimer was funnier than the joke...

Icon_1011

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Eddie c · Joined: 16 Sep 2006 Posts: 685 Location: Manchester

Dave, its the punchline that gets the laugh.

A Man was trying on a pair of shoes....."they are a bit tight" he told the assistant.

"Try them with the tongue out"..said the assistant.

Icon_sick

"whe arre spill a mit might" said our man.

Eddie
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Eddie c · Joined: 16 Sep 2006 Posts: 685 Location: Manchester

Pronlem is Dave..."that its that way you tell them that matters"

Eddie
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davelarge · Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 10:52 am Post subject:

Always difficult without tone of voice.

Icon_1087

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jtheb · Joined: 21 Jun 2006 Posts: 1451 Location: second childhood

In a shoe shop a lady (blonde, irish) said the assistant "I think one of my feet is bigger than the other"
Replied the blonde irish assistant "O No Mdam if anything a little smaller."
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Eddie c · Joined: 16 Sep 2006 Posts: 685 Location: Manchester

Come on everyone ..have a go at John,he had no right to pick on .............................shop-assistants.

Talking about feet. Why are womens feet smaller than mens? Icon_hide

Eddie
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davelarge · Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2007 8:38 am Post subject:

Obviously because otherwise they wouldn't fit into their shoes properly!

8¬)
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Eddie c · Joined: 16 Sep 2006 Posts: 685 Location: Manchester

Coward....... Icon_peace

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jtheb · Joined: 21 Jun 2006 Posts: 1451 Location: second childhood

Sounds a bit like why giraffes have long neck to avoid a gap between their heads and their bodies.
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crystal · Joined: 04 Apr 2007 Posts: 308

I always thought it was because their feet smell so bad.

davelarge · Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2007 3:56 pm Post subject:

Personally, I think that giraffes are the cast-iron proof that God has a sense of humour - they look ridiculous!
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Covenanter · Joined: 28 Aug 2006 Posts: 1446

The RC priest greeted the Presbyterian minister, "Good morning, you Protestant b######"

The minister replied,

"Top o' the morning, Father."
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Eddie c · Joined: 16 Sep 2006 Posts: 685 Location: Manchester

>
A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

'Not a chance,' says the husband. 'It is 3 o'clock in the morning.'

He slams the door and returns to bed.

'Who was that?' asked his wife.

'Just some drunk guy asking for a push!'

'Did you help him?' she asks.

'No. I did not. It is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring rain outside!'

His wife said, 'Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us?
You should be ashamed of yourself!'

The man gets dressed and goes out into the pouring rain.

He calls out into the dark, 'Hello. Are you still there?'
'Yes,' comes back the answer.

'Do you still need a push?' calls out the husband.

'Yes please!' comes the reply from the darkness.

'Where are you?' asks the husband.

'Over here on the swing!' replies the drunk.

This was not a mixed marriage and the drunk was from *******and.

Eddie
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